Dear You



just want to say I love you

doesn’t matter now that we’ve parted ways

I tried but I cant make you love me

I looked to the stars asking the gods above

why cant I have this love? wanting to make her my life

dreaming of how it can be holding her close to me

who can be better , love me better than she

Hearing the angels play as the Demons chant away

Told her I cant ever go without you another day

Missing her taking my soul to another place

The waves can wash away the moments

fire can burn the words

snow can hold the pain

tight world can walk away

But I cant go another day

I cant go another without her anyway

Laying here looking up and away

In this beautiful world for her I’ll stay



Million Miles – J.B


Original Song

Even when she’s close to my heart 
Though it feels like we’re a million miles apart
Promised to stay
But now nowhere to be seen
Callin her every day
Hearin voice mail , breaks me inside
Guess she’s moved on , gotta let go
Holdin on to her , on speed dial
Can’t forget her sweet voice
The one that once lifted me up
She’s my ghost love from above
They said if you love someone , you got to let them go
She was the one that showed me the light
Used to sit by window lookin at the moonlight
She gave me hope , a reason to smile
Where did you go ? Why did you walk away?
My sun in the morning , my moon every night
Her tears ripped my heart’s strings
There’s not a thing I wouldn’t do
Holdin on to our memories , shakes me from inside
Why did you push me away when I held you close
What happened to forever ?
Where’s ur heart that glows?
Heard that you don’t want no more
Can’t look at you without a tear in my eye
You’ve pushed me a million miles away
How did we get from hello to goodbye?
I’ve never let a girl get to me , was strong
You’re my weakness now
Congratulations you’ve succeeded my dear

Angel’s Lullaby



We were like the stars in the sky
shining like there is no tomorrow
yet far each other hearts
your voice still lingers in my heart & mind
like an angel you descended into my life
hmm . hmmm , got a voice like an angel from above
I knew I couldnt hold myself , but it’s true
her voice plays on like , like an angel lullaby
Wish I could record you and let the world see
how beautiful your heart’s song is
playing on my heart’s strings
A beautiful melody , slow dancing through the night
dont want you to be fly away , fly away
this love’s got me thinking , where to go
You take me to places i’ve never been before
I understand you never had someone to follow
I know you always said you’d find it your own way
You keep your feelings safe like letters in a bottle
Hoping that they’d wash up on my shore someday
oh , owhh , oh oh , oh
Talking on the phone , hearin you laugh
going on about your day , can’t find something to say
lightening a smile on my face , beautiful , beautiful you
you’ve sang to my heart’s broken pieces , blessing my broken road
showing me the right way to life , to the light
filling me with your sweet words , dont need no bread
by your side , feeling whole inside
Not a stranger to the wonders of your silence
I wanna be there when the walls are fallin’ away
So I can see you’re all are the things that make me love you
Just a smile, smile on your face
oh , owhh , oh oh , oh
Lying here and I can’t fall asleep
I’m just listening to you breathe
I miss the way it was before
I’d wake and wrap inside your arms
After you kissed me all night long
We would be in love a little more
Why can’t we just lock all the doors?
Maybe we’ll find what we’re looking for
I don’t want to be strangers
oh , owhh , oh oh , oh
everytime it gets dark , I hold your hand
I know you understand
walking by the ocean’s waves , I see you walking away
haven’t seen a beauty like you
baby , your footsteps beating on the sand
holding on to an angel from above , gift of love
your words bring my soul to life , to life

loving you , loving you , an angel like you , baby , you , you x 3

Beautiful Pain



This love’s got me shakin can’t stand anymore

She just knows the words to lift me up

Heart beats her name all day long , all day long

Can’t bear this pain going on and on

Her voice echoes in my mind like a song

Lovin her keeps me alive , lighten me up like a flame


She shakes my soul like an earthquake

Aint nobody got it but her

Your love’s killing me slowly , please don’t save me

Why do I still feel for you ? Weren’t you jus a crush?

You’ve crushed my heart to pieces , shattered

Just wana hold you tight and make you feel the storm inside , the cyclone that is hungry to take you all in

I can’t stop thinking about you , I see you everywhere I go.

What have you done to me ? We were just best friends!

Now I feel like a monster everytime I’m away

I miss you more day by day


I just can’t bare to lose you yet I hurt myself to keep you

Save me from this love prison , sentenced within your walls

Take me to where you are and go far away

How did we reach this ? How do you make me crave you desparately?

Being so close to you makes me feel so strong yet weak in my knees

I’m so in love with this beautiful pain , don’t wana be without you

I just aint the same , I’m glad you came

Can’t walk or run away from your ways

Holdin on , I got u wrapped around my heart

I’ve loved you and always will , aint nothing tearin us apart

Every dream I’ve had kissing you , drives me wild

Forgive me , I can’t stop loving you so beautifully

This beautiful pain’s keepin me alive , this pain got me screamin


Holdin your hand , butterflies flutterin Her eyes takin me to a world far away , far away Feeling the power of your tough love , heart attacks flowing Can you hear the drummin Your heart’s song hummin Captured within her wild storm Trying to sleep; her voice like soft rain keeps me awake

I just can’t be without you beautiful Got me hooked on your love drug Gettin high , higher the clouds Breathin you in , feeling you inside Your demons shakin me out, can’t get enough I’m just gona keep holdin on , holdin on to you You’ve started a wild fire , burnin me inside

Girl , you’re the only beautiful pain & I’m just gona keep on holdin on The one and only perfect storm

This is what dysphoria feels like


a gentleman and a scholar

Because so many people who want to know more about trans rights, and be supportive, don’t really know what dysphoria is, or what it can do.

Because so many people who want to derail or dismiss discussions of trans people and our existence believe that they can ignore it, or somehow explain it away.

Have you ever broken a limb and had it in plaster? And when you went to move it you couldn’t – when your brain told it to function it failed? When you looked down and expected something – preemptively felt it – your eyes contradicted you, the limitations of your embodied self clashed against the self that your brain expected to be there?

That’s how dysphoria has always felt to me.

It was stumbling with shock when my arms brushed against my breasts (and I struggle to write the word my next to breasts because they…

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My new Love & Inspiration in my Life : Shania Twain



There comes a time when you come across a person , that truly affects you and becomes part of your life . Well , I after I watched the new DocSeries of Shania Twain ; I usually watch documentaries to get more insight about a certain person . But every this time it felt more of a connection than just a look – through . Listening to her songs reminded me of my childhood and just every word she sang reminded me of certain images in my life . Just the way she portrays herself is really beautiful . She is already truly beautiful and wouldn’t want any one different than her to be my idol.

Her Doc Series called : Why Not ?

The moment the video started , I began to feel how she is as a person , it feel so authentic. I just wanted to be there for her and be by her side. Her personality is amazing even though the documentary was about her being lost and trying to get her voice back. The part of her trying to find her voice reminds me of how I got my voice , due to being bullied and abused as a child . I repressed my voice and hid it from the world . But now that I have forgiven and accepted who I am and expressed myself out loud ; at the same time trying to find out my path in life . I was able to relate to her because she ignored her feelings and just focused on putting things aside . Knowing she lost her parents at that young age and setting aside the betrayal of her close friend Marie – Anne is truly amazing from how she felt at the beginning comparing to the end of the documentary.

Who are the ” Indigos” ?


” I for one am an Indigo , but what and who am I? – Jay.A

Where did the term “Indigo Child” come from?

Nancy Ann Tappe, a teacher and counselor, studied the human auric field, otherwise known as their electromagnetic field. The field surrounds every living thing. She even wrote a book about it called “Understanding Your Life Through Color.”

Through colors in the aura, she instituted a shockingly accurate and revealing way to psychologically profile a person using her new auric color method. The signs of an indigo child actually began even as early as in the 1950s with a few people. What she noticed was that 80 percent of the children born after 1980 had a new deep blue colored auric field. She called this new color “indigo”.

What is an Indigo ?

Ten attributes that best describe the Indigo Child :

  • They come into the world with a feeling of royalty (and often act like it)
  • They have a feeling of “deserving to be here,” and are surprised when others don’t share that.
  • Self-worth is not a big issue. They often tell the parents “who they are.”
  • They have difficulty with absolute authority (authority without explanation or choice).
  • They simply will not do certain things; for example, waiting in line is difficult for them.
  • They get frustrated with systems that are ritually oriented and don’t require creative thought.
  • They often see better ways of doing things, both at home and in school, which makes them seem like “system busters” (nonconforming to any system).
  • They seem antisocial unless they are with their own kind. If there are no others of like consciousness around them, they often turn inward, feeling like no other human understands them. School is often extremely difficult for them socially.
  • They will not respond to “guilt” discipline (“Wait till your father gets home and finds out what you did”).
  • They are not shy in letting you know what they need.
    and… just in case you heard otherwise from other “indigo” sources, the designated word “Indigo” has nothing to do with the color of an aura! It is the result of scientific observations by a woman who has the brain disorder called synesthesia.

What would an ideal Indigo’s world look like?

Indigos have a job to do on this planet, and they WILL do it. It’s their job to help eliminate the values of the world age that just passed in 2012, and replace them with the values of the new world age. They take their job very seriously, even if they are not aware of it. They are preparing the world for the new values of “love, brotherhood, unity and integrity.” Indigo prophecies talk about how these special children are the forerunners to dramatically changing the word for the next Great Cycle change in the area of 2012. Forgiveness towards others is a key element to help heal the earth. An indigo’s world would be:

  1. Free from all harsh chemicals.
  2. Food would be organically grown, locally grown, fresh with minimal processing and refining.
  3. Education would be for all and children would have a much greater say in their educational future and curriculum.
  4. Family would mean whom you are with at that time, and be inclusive to a greater circle of people.
  5. Our political system would be truly for the greater good of all, much more democratic, even socialist.
  6. All countries and all people would work together to better the lives on the entire planet.
  7. Nature and her needs would come first including clean air and soil.
  8. Children would be treated with respect and consulted on any decisions that would affect them.
  9. All people would be equal no matter what their race, color, sex, or creed.

Are you or your children an indigo?

These are the characteristics of an indigo as stated in The Care and Feeding of Your Indigo Child:

  • Strong willed
  • Born in 1978 or later
  • Headstrong
  • Creative, with an artistic flair for music, jewelry making, poetry, etc.
  • Prone to addictions
  • An “old soul” as if they’re 13 going on 43
  • Intuitive or psychic, possibly with a history of seeing angels or deceased people
  • An isolationist, either through aggressive acting-out, or through fragile introversion
  • Independent and proud, even if they’re constantly asking you for money
  • Possess a deep desire to help the world in a big way
  • Wavers between low self-esteem and grandiosity
  • Bores easily
  • Has probably been diagnosed as having ADD or ADHD
  • Prone to insomnia, restless sleep, nightmares, or difficulty/fear of falling asleep
  • Has a history of depression, or even suicidal thoughts or attempts
  • Looks for real, deep, and lasting friendships
  • Easily bonds with plants or animals.

If you possess 14 or more of these traits you are an indigo. If 11 to 13, you’re probably an indigo in training. If you’re an adult with these traits you could be a “light worker.”

So what happened to cause us to lose touch with our inner knowing?

Put simply, we began to “think” instead of “feel,” thousands of years ago. Our ability to tap into the collective consciousness is still within us. We’ve just forgotten how to use it. The ego became our ruler holding us back by relying on memories to make our decisions. With past as our guide, we gave our power to the ego, which made us fearful. The intellect caused us to lose our connection to the collective consciousness, making us feel alone.

Some adults have been able to gain at least a part of this former knowing. They in turn are giving birth to children who remember how the collective consciousness works and they are using it. The indigo offspring is there descendant.


” i don’t own any of the rights of the above information.